"When we make a sarcastic comment, we can say something without really saying it. It might appear that we are jesting, but in reality we're making a point loud and clear. . . .we paint another in a bad light: they are habitually late, incessantly sloppy, or not the sharpest crayon in the box. We rattle off a comment that highlights their weakness in neon color, garners a chuckle from those within earshot, and paints us oh-so-witty." (emphasis mine)
Karen Ehman
Zip It p.140
Zondervan 2017
As For Me
Not!
That's not joking. That's being a coward! Being afraid of the reaction--tears, anger, defense. It's manipulative. Or, at least that's how I see it.
My husband and I agreed, early in our marriage, to refrain from teasing in that way. We agreed that there is usually an element of truth intentionally hidden in the comment--something that gnaws at the recipient, making them wonder what part is true and what part isn't. It brings doubt and fragility to a relationship. It trashes self-esteem and security.
Ray and I slip up now and then and remind each other of our agreement.
Better to talk outright--to pray for direction or patience.
Sarcasm often becomes SCARcasm.
EverLearning and ReLearning,
Lonnie
"Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, 'I was only joking!'"
Proverbs 26:18-19
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