OVERWEIGHT

"Growing up, my dad had been critical of my mother's weight, and he evidently didn't want my sister and me to look like her. One day my dad called us into the bathroom. He was standing by the scale . . . inviting us to step up."

Maria Goff

Love Lives Here   p. 21

Broadman &Holman  2017

"You look okay, now," my dad said when I asked for more mashed potatoes, "but too many more helpings of potatoes and . . ." I don't remember the end. I don't need to.

Lonnie

"By the time I was nineteen, Maria Goff continued, "I regularly took laxatives. My body quickly became addicted to these pills."

p. 22

My Story

I hesitate to share this, fearing to dishonor my dad; but I've come to realize, through some Twelve Step programs, that attitudes go back generations. Dad didn't come up with that thought process. He learned it from somewhere. But . . . I'm 20 pounds past his okay, so what do I do with that?

One summer, in my high school years, I was bedridden for 6 weeks with no energy and no appetite. I lost lots of weight and I was too excited. Mom seemed to be too; she paid to have my favorite clothes altered. 

I decided to continue the "no appetite" routine. Mom didn't let that happen. However, when I felt fat Mom, sometimes, gave me a diuretic. And, sometimes, I stole them.

When I left home, I began putting on weight. I, like Maria, started taking laxatives. They were chewable and I hated the taste--so I swallowed the squares whole.

Then, one night, someone totally unaware of my habit, told me of a friend addicted to laxatives. I could hardly believe it! Was that really possible? I stopped immediately . . . until, years later, when I was pregnant. The dr. complained about my weight gain (limited to 15 pounds) so the night before appointments, I took laxatives.

I managed to talk doctors into diuretics for a few years. I didn't take them everyday; only when I became overwhelmed with weight gain.

So-------why share this at all? Because, decades later, I still struggle. I don't wear shorts, no matter how hot. I don't wear swim suits. I miss out on some really fun activities. I guess I tell you, to show how we sometimes create or contribute to someone's struggle.

And-----because I believe God put people in my life to prevent full-blown anorexia or bulemia. 

And------for those who know someone with eating disorders, I ask that you pray with compassion; for them and for their family.

I share because it helps me immensely to read of someone else's struggles, whatever they are, when similar to my own. I, then, don't feel odd and alone; I want you to know that you aren't alone either.

We are fearfully and wonderfully made, (Psalm 139)

Someday, with God's further help, I will be victorious. Sometimes being honest is the first step.

Lonnie