I've been praying "for" Brett Kavanaugh, for his name to be cleared, for his position in the Supreme Court to be confirmed.
Yesterday, (day before hearings) my prayer changed. "God, Your will be done." I determined not to have a will of my own, but to trust God.
This morning, I sat before the TV, giving it my full attention.
My prayers continue to change. I began praying for Christians. I BEG that we behave as the Body of Christ. Conservatives/Republicans--not always the same, have criticized Democrats/Liberals for being poor losers. Whether we get our way or not, let us respond with humility; and with compassion.
I want the truth whether it hurts or not. I think we all do, though I do believe we have all invested our hope in one side. I admit that I have.
I took a break to walk and pray. My prayers continue to change.
God, I'm sorry. We are always looking for a savior. We are looking for a Christian President; we're looking for a conservative Supreme Court Judge. What pressure we have put on one man! God, we already have a Savior! One who can be trusted! Forgive us.
I'm sad that I had a doctor's appointment and missed Brett Kavanaugh's opening statement and then some--or am I sad/disappointed? I cannot believe the disrespect!
Ray taped the hearing.
I watched.
I'm grieved. On a few levels.
That professional people can't behave with the dignity their office demands. That most that are listening there, and in my world, had their minds made up before one question was asked or one word uttered. I've lost track of the source, but I've read that it's better to be righteous than right. God, help me.
#Me too and I still believe Brett Kavanaugh. I may be wrong, and if it comes out that I am, I will be both surprised and grieved, again.
I determined to get out before work this morning and just be with God. I have little time left, so will continue my processing later.
I'll tell you that, anyone who has been raped, is triggered by these hearings--remembering things they wish they could forget, and wondering why they can't remember other things. I didn't tell anyone till Ray. I blamed myself. If you know me at all, you know it wasn't because I was flirty, drunk, or immodestly dressed. I "knew" him. I was stupid! (Or so I thought--it's hard to let go of.) I cannot remember his last name. Though I know he was shorter than me and had dark hair, I do not believe I would recognize him if I saw him on the street. But I can promise you, if I saw someone at the grocery store, after, who'd "been there" I wouldn't say hi. I'd, if my legs would hold me, turn and get out of there if I had to knock people over to do so. Different people, different reactions but . . . just sayin'.
It's been asked, "Can both believe they are telling the truth? I can only hope.
It's distressing, now, to have people who supported the judge to change their minds. But I've tried wearing everyone's shoes. Felony? Do they go down and ruin their lives and freedom for a lie? I'm fairly confident that they feel threatened.
This morning I realize the issue--for me. There ought to be 2 hearings--one concerning the honesty of Brett Kavanaugh--one concerning the Democratic party. The mixture of these 2 issues is where the torment is. It's so obvious that the Dems are playing a game and they don't care that it's obvious, so long as it is effective. They are scared to death of a conservative judge on the Supreme Court. Know what? We are just as scared for the opposite outcome. It feels critical to us to have someone who will support our constitution as it was written, by God-fearing men; someone who will likely support our religious freedoms of which seem to be rapidly slipping away.
I cannot imagine the hell Brett has been through--whether or not he's telling the truth. If he has lied, what will that do to his marriage and what will he say to his children? What about friends? Most of us have the luxury of a limited audience to the sins and failures of our lives. I again blame the Democrats. This is timed. Sexual assault, drunk or not, is wrong, traumatic. Part of me says, hasn't he redeemed himself with inpeccable character since then? But . . . we can't redeem ourselves.
That being said, I've heard our sin confessions should be as public as our sin was. If we've lied for example, (stealing, gossiping) to our friend, family, church body, or nation, our confession and seeking forgiveness should be equally narrow or broad. While character is absolutely important, this could have been handled differently!
I sound as though I'm sure of the judge's guilt. It's looking pretty scary. I'm hoping that someone else is proven a bold-faced liar. (being honest) Hoping for the best, preparing for the worst is the only way I know to go forward. And for now, I recess . . .
Sunday
A friend suggested that I quit watching the news--quit letting it steal my joy. She's right, you know. But . . .
I can't seem to help myself.
I listened to Breakpoint.org on Saturday and Chris Wallace on Fox 9, today. I appreciate Chris. He asks the tough questions---to BOTH sides.
Then I went to church.
I worshiped.
The Almighty God!
He's got this!
He welcomes my prayers.
He doesn't need my help.
But
I'm having trouble waiting this out. And sometimes my anger makes me want to destroy the TV. If it were disappointment in someone I respected, I could grieve. But it's the game.
TUESDAY
Depends who you listen to. It always does.
I imagine how exhausted Judge K. was before this 2nd hearing ever started--grilled like he was already guilty of something--seemingly with great hopes that he was.
I find it so difficult to believe Dr. Ford. Some speakers believe her mention of hypocampus or other technical terms make her more credible. To me, less so; she knows, with her psychology speciality, how she has to act and what she has to say to be believable.
Then again, if Judge K. has misrepresented his character--
There's little to do but wait-----and pray. Again this morning, I told God, "Your will." God knows the big picture. My prayer then turns to this: salvation for all, the ability by all to see God's hand, that the Kavanaugh marriage won't be threatened but strengthened------that I will be who I should be in handling this national crisis.
And then, there's Indonesia. God, be the Almighty that you are. Send comforters and provision. May Your Hand be seen.
he's confirmed
Does that look like a whisper? It is. Anyone who would celebrate Brett Cavanaugh's victory is made to feel shame. Oh, I mean SHAME!
We listened to the same hearings, but we are not allowed to come to our own conclusions. Instead, we're tagged as stupid at best, and uncaring at worst.
#Metoo but I believe Judge Kavanaugh.
We've been made to feel shame for voting for Donald Trump. I get it. He certainly wasn't my first choice. But Hilary was my absolute last. I couldn't vote for socialism; it hasn't worked for others. Why would we be different? I couldn't vote for late term abortion--crushing a live baby's skull to kill him/her. In the womb, versus blugeoning outside the womb, doesn't make it less murder. I couldn't vote for Hilary's deceit and where it would lead. I love gay people--genuinely. There is so much more to them than their gender preference; but I can't support gay marriage. I cherish my religious freedoms. With Hilary, what is left would melt like a Hershey bar in 80 degree sun.
I knew, financially, voting for many of the Rebublican candidates would hurt me. But, I believe that direction is right. Not hand outs that get you stuck with no way out; not handouts that steal your dignity and incentive. Not handouts that hide our talents and gifts but, unfortunately, they do well at securing votes.
Why am I REQUIRED to accept what and how liberals believe, but they can shout me, or anyone with similar beliefs, down with loud disrespect? ("because," I hear God whisper, "I hold you to a higher and holier standard."
Why in the world were protesters allowed to YELL in the senate chambers?
Will this blog go public? I don't know. If it doesn't, it won't be for fear of shame. Well---yes, maybe I'll fear, but will muster up courage to stand up for what I believe in. I'll pray--and hopefully obey God's direction.
By the way, facebook has been pretty tame from both sides of the aisle. Thank you.
TUESDAY
Depends who you listen to. It always does.
I imagine how exhausted Judge K. was before this 2nd hearing ever started--grilled like he was already guilty of something--seemingly with great hopes that he was.
I find it so difficult to believe Dr. Ford. Some speakers believe her mention of hypocampus or other technical terms make her more credible. To me, less so; she knows, with her psychology speciality, how she has to act and what she has to say to be believable.
Then again, if Judge K. has misrepresented his character--
There's little to do but wait-----and pray. Again this morning, I told God, "Your will." God knows the big picture. My prayer then turns to this: salvation for all, the ability by all to see God's hand, that the Kavanaugh marriage won't be threatened but strengthened------that I will be who I should be in handling this national crisis.
And then, there's Indonesia. God, be the Almighty that you are. Send comforters and provision. May Your Hand be seen.
he's confirmed
Does that look like a whisper? It is. Anyone who would celebrate Brett Cavanaugh's victory is made to feel shame. Oh, I mean SHAME!
We listened to the same hearings, but we are not allowed to come to our own conclusions. Instead, we're tagged as stupid at best, and uncaring at worst.
#Metoo but I believe Judge Kavanaugh.
We've been made to feel shame for voting for Donald Trump. I get it. He certainly wasn't my first choice. But Hilary was my absolute last. I couldn't vote for socialism; it hasn't worked for others. Why would we be different? I couldn't vote for late term abortion--crushing a live baby's skull to kill him/her. In the womb, versus blugeoning outside the womb, doesn't make it less murder. I couldn't vote for Hilary's deceit and where it would lead. I love gay people--genuinely. There is so much more to them than their gender preference; but I can't support gay marriage. I cherish my religious freedoms. With Hilary, what is left would melt like a Hershey bar in 80 degree sun.
I knew, financially, voting for many of the Rebublican candidates would hurt me. But, I believe that direction is right. Not hand outs that get you stuck with no way out; not handouts that steal your dignity and incentive. Not handouts that hide our talents and gifts but, unfortunately, they do well at securing votes.
Why am I REQUIRED to accept what and how liberals believe, but they can shout me, or anyone with similar beliefs, down with loud disrespect? ("because," I hear God whisper, "I hold you to a higher and holier standard."
Why in the world were protesters allowed to YELL in the senate chambers?
Will this blog go public? I don't know. If it doesn't, it won't be for fear of shame. Well---yes, maybe I'll fear, but will muster up courage to stand up for what I believe in. I'll pray--and hopefully obey God's direction.
By the way, facebook has been pretty tame from both sides of the aisle. Thank you.
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