I have 3 days left of my prepaid Caribou cup. (They call it free coffee; I take full advantage of it, so some is free.) But, I have to tell you, if I only had tonight's conversation with Cheryl, it would be worth it!
The conversation began with her getting books banned from school. Books from 1964 being used in 2000; books that taught racism. White folks got mad at her. She told some that it was for them too . . . lest they have a child come home in a box. (Not a threat, but a knowledge of the tension.)
At fifteen, with a young child, she didn't miss one PTA meeting. She'd heard the statistics of people like her . . . and she wasn't going to be a part of that statistic. One night, a teacher asked her if she could talk. "Yes, but I have nothing to say."
"Wrong. You have plenty to say. You're here."
She spoke in school (s): Everything You Wanted To Know About Blacks But Were Afraid To Ask. She had the kids write questions on cards and warned the teachers NOT TO REMOVE ANY. When she was done with her talk, she asked if any kids didn't get their questions answered.
Eight!! Eight raised their hands.
Teachers had indeed pulled the questions. She took a 5 minute break for those cards to reappear.
Cheryl experienced foster homes--not finding out till much later that each of the households were given money for her food and clothes. Though treated poorly, even using the word slave, she was put back in the same home. She took a picture of the knot on her son's head which the parents tried to blame her for. She recorded things this awful dad said to her.
Then . . .
She went to the judge.
Baby in tow, with bottles to feed him, she said,
"I'm not leaving until I see him."
She told the judge she didn't have much to say, but a lot (recordings) for him to listen to. She told him,"This is the kind of home you put me in, and others too. It's not right!" The judge pulled the liscense for foster care from this family.
The last home she was placed in was with a woman who didn't want more kids, but gave in. She told Cheryl she'd heard this was going to be tough.
During all these homes, Cheryl was going to school, working a job, and caring for her child. This foster mom, impressed with that, told Cheryl she would just let her be.
"Oh, no. I need to do chores. I need to pull my weight."
This mom told Cheryl to save her money. That she was given money for her needs. The FIRST Cheryl knew of that.
This foster mom went out on a limb for Cheryl, putting a deposit down on an apartment for her and going to the judge to okay it. "She does well, but she needs someone to fall back on. I will be that someone." The judge stuck his neck out and okayed the apartment.
Cheryl had a tough time. She remembers crying without food for herself, but knowing she had to care for her baby.
A junior high teacher told Cheryl that she was the most inspirational person she knew, because she fought and kept on fighting.
I've had short conversations with Cheryl before . . . and been impressed with her parenting and wisdom. Tonight, Caribou is slow and it afforded us time. I mean to tell you, I could wish for more cold ugly weather to hear more.
How I wish I'd known Cheryl decades ago. She is proof that tough times build character, strength, and wisdom.
But, I've avoided tough times like the stomach flu.
I'm growing.
Thank You, God, for Cheryl and for Your faithfulness.
Your Introverted But Grateful Daughter.
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